Coming Back Again....Soon!

Not sure what it is about being forced to write for other reasons, but I've been having ideas for blog posts again. 

I have a few ideas that I want to get out of my head (and onto a writing platform) that are best expressed here, so I figured I would 'dig this out' and get them out there. 

Hope to write back here soon! 

SURVEY - Your Senior Year of High School!

The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be!!!

My High School

1. The year? 2001
2. Own a Letterman jacket? I don’t think my high school even had letterman jackets; our football team was “shared” with a few other schools (long story)
3. What kind of car did you drive? I drove my parent’s Nissan Pathfinder.
 4. Friday night football games? Nope.
5. What kind of job? Worked in the school cafeteria in the morning, serving breakfast to the dormitory students
7. Were you considered a jock? Next
8. Were you in the band? Nope
9. Were you a nerd? I guess? There were nerdier kids than me, but I was definitely a kid who had nothing better to do than hang out at the library
10. Do you still live in the same school district? Nope. Moved away to Sunny L.A.
11. Can you sing the school fight song? We….didn’t have a school fight song (I don’t think)?
12. What was your school mascot? Our *basketball* team school mascot was the Owl.
13. If you could go back? ……maybe. If just to be able to go back to college as well.
14. Are you still in contact with people from your high school? Just a few here and there.
15. Do you know where your high school sweetheart is? Not everyone has a high school sweetheart…!
16. What was your favorite school subject? English or Theatre – it’s a toss-up, really.
17. Do you still have your High School ring? I would say my mom does….somewhere in my old room.
18. Do you still have your yearbook? Took it with me so I could look back on it fondly. :-) 

GAY MOVIE REVIEW – THE HAPPY SAD.

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these…..! 

THE HAPPY SAD

PLOT: While the trailer would have you believe this movie follows two couples equally - one black and gay (Marcus and Aaron), the other one white and heterosexual (Stan and Annie) - the movie primarily follows the lives of the white, heterosexuals as they break up and form new homosexual relationships apart from each other. Stan begins an affair with Marcus, while Annie begins a relationship with co-worker, Annie. And while the two couples try to ‘make it work,’ the lives of Stan’s and Annie’s new partners somehow manage to hurl the two back together – who then try to have an “open relationship” in an attempt to get back together – but at the expense of Marcus, Aaron, and Mandy as they each try to pick up the pieces of their respective relationships in the aftermath. Ultimately, it is not clear how each relationship ends up as the movie ends with a good time-skip later; all the main characters are seen together at a concert but whether they’ve broken up and remained friends or still together is vague.

REVIEW: I think I’m finally seeing what people mean when they say a movie is “trying too hard.” What it lacks in production capital, it tries to make up for in ‘depth’ and montages over musical numbers hoping to cover the many, many emotions these characters are going through while experimenting with other people. I think this movie definitely wants to say something about monogamy and how ‘confining’ it is, but I’m not sure what because the alternatives they try don’t seem to work out for them either. Plus, I wasn’t too keen on all the musical numbers (Stan is in a band, you guys!).

It just doesn’t work as a whole. Hard pass if you see it on any ‘recommended’ list. 

TRAILER:

What an odd (yet fitting?) post for Valentine’s Day! 

(PERSONAL) FUTURE WORRIES

A friend of mine was recently laid off from his job. He’s an older gentleman so he’s struggling right now to find a new job at his (previous) paygrade.

I feel for him, but aside from taking him out to lunch every so often, there’s not much else I can do.

It got me thinking about my careet and my future with Jeff. I have a primarily administrative job that *could* be done by someone else if it really needed to be – like my friend, I’m essentially replaceable. And if I can’t provide for us with my salary, where would that leave us?

This fear is exacerbated by the fact that I recently moved to a new position in my company – a new department, really – and it is not as “essential” as some others due the fact that it is new (and possibly expendable?).

If I get laid off one day, I wonder how I’ll fare in the jobs market? I REALLY do not want to be dumped back into that….but what if I have no choice?

Augh – just stressing over something I can’t do anything about. I am gaining a lot of skills right now and trying to learn as much as I can. It’s hard to think about the bleakness of tomorrow….especially in today’s climate.

FYI – trying to blog more now that I have the time. Jeff is also talking about me joining his friend, Angela’s, writing workshop. Not sure what I can contribute these days, but I’m trying to motivate myself to do it. 

NEVER READ THE COMMENTS

I never post anything political online because I’m afraid of getting sucked into arguments. I’ve seen a lot of my friends do this since the election and the comments some of them get are horrifying. 

•  One friend wrote a post advocating to delete the Uber app from their phone; the comments section of his post (135 and counting!) devolved into an argument over which media corporations are biased and what direction each of them lean.
• Another friend wrote a post about the contradiction of the #AllLivesMatter slogan and the Muslim ban, only to be called a C-U-Next-Tuesday.
• Another (closer) friend wrote a post about being pro-choice and ended up getting trolled by her own father-in-law. 

That last one really gets to me.

I don’t get this. I really I don’t. And I’m so afraid that the friends I have online (all of which I know and met in real life) will reveal themselves to be horrible Trump-defending conservatives who will turn their attentions on me.

Who has that kind of time?

Who has that kind of energy?

It seems that only bigots and angry, ANGRY internet trolls do….and they seem to be out in force right now.   

Reaching ouuut...touching me, touching youuuu

So I've started going to therapy. 

It seems like such a privilege (ugh, hate using that word) to be able to see a therapist, but I'm glad I can afford it because I'm already starting to take some positive steps - in both my life and my relationship with Jeff (yes, we're still together! Two years, baby). 

One of those changes is this resolution that I made (with Jeff) about making sure we both stay connected to the people we care about closely. 

So I made a list of people who I've regretted losing touch with and am vowing now to make plans to connect with them every so often. 

The list is private, but if you hear from me (and Jeff), consider yourself on it and I hope that you don't already have other plans. 

P.S. Long time no blog, so I'm a little rusty. Sorry this wasn't a wittier post.....but at least it was grammatically correct! 

......right? 

RE: My Legacy

Forgive me if this entry sounds a little weird. My blogging skills are a little rusty…..!

My mom called me to tell me that my Grandmother passed away yesterday.

I’m glad she did because if I’d found from my brother’s post on his Facebook page, I probably would’ve been upset. That’s the kind of news you really deserve to get a phone call for (when it’s a family member, anyway).

And, aside from feeling the normal amounts of sad – she’d been in and out of hospitals for a while now; we all knew this was coming – I started thinking about all the deaths I’ve seen communicated through social media….

…..and all the humorous ways those deaths can be exploited.

Hey – everybody grieves differently.

It didn’t take long after my dad passed away when I was a teenager for me to start talking about it with a sense of humor, either. I didn’t feel bad about it then because I think he wouldn’t have minded. But I do feel a little guilty when it’s my Grandma. She was a nice woman who didn’t have the same dark sense of humor that I inherited from my dad, so I’m a little worried her ghost might find it ‘offensive’.

When I die, I’m going to stipulate in my will the following ways I deem acceptable for people to talk about me. They shall include, and are limited to, the following:

ACCEPTABLE:

• ·         Using my death for your dark humor (as long as I’m not the butt of the joke)
• ·         Exploiting my passing to take time off of work or school
• ·         Using my death as an excuse for your poor performance (similar to “El Nino” or “Thanks, Obama!”)
• ·         Announcing my death on my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Blog account pages.
• o   My passwords will be written into my will & bequeathed to my successors  & loved ones.

UNACCEPTABLE:

• ·         Announcing my death on anyone else’s Facebook, Twitter, etc.
• ·         Blaming me for someone else’s mistakes
• ·         Starting a kickstarter campaign or Memorial fund on my behalf (the only exception being if I don’t leave behind enough money for a proper burial or funeral).
• o   Don’t balk. It happens.

One of the reasons this is on my mind is I’ll have to fly back home to Hawaii for the funeral and my department is really under-staffed at the moment. I feel guilty taking time off now, but part of me is glad I can do it without fear of looking like “a slacker”.

So, in a way, my Grandma’s death is kind of a good thing!

Hey – like I said: we all grieve in our own ways.  

Anyway, here's to my Grandma. I'm glad I got one last 'selfie' with her in it before she passed on.