GAY MOVIE REVIEW – THE HAPPY SAD.

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these…..! 

THE HAPPY SAD

PLOT: While the trailer would have you believe this movie follows two couples equally - one black and gay (Marcus and Aaron), the other one white and heterosexual (Stan and Annie) - the movie primarily follows the lives of the white, heterosexuals as they break up and form new homosexual relationships apart from each other. Stan begins an affair with Marcus, while Annie begins a relationship with co-worker, Annie. And while the two couples try to ‘make it work,’ the lives of Stan’s and Annie’s new partners somehow manage to hurl the two back together – who then try to have an “open relationship” in an attempt to get back together – but at the expense of Marcus, Aaron, and Mandy as they each try to pick up the pieces of their respective relationships in the aftermath. Ultimately, it is not clear how each relationship ends up as the movie ends with a good time-skip later; all the main characters are seen together at a concert but whether they’ve broken up and remained friends or still together is vague.

REVIEW: I think I’m finally seeing what people mean when they say a movie is “trying too hard.” What it lacks in production capital, it tries to make up for in ‘depth’ and montages over musical numbers hoping to cover the many, many emotions these characters are going through while experimenting with other people. I think this movie definitely wants to say something about monogamy and how ‘confining’ it is, but I’m not sure what because the alternatives they try don’t seem to work out for them either. Plus, I wasn’t too keen on all the musical numbers (Stan is in a band, you guys!).

It just doesn’t work as a whole. Hard pass if you see it on any ‘recommended’ list. 

TRAILER:

What an odd (yet fitting?) post for Valentine’s Day! 

(PERSONAL) FUTURE WORRIES

A friend of mine was recently laid off from his job. He’s an older gentleman so he’s struggling right now to find a new job at his (previous) paygrade.

I feel for him, but aside from taking him out to lunch every so often, there’s not much else I can do.

It got me thinking about my careet and my future with Jeff. I have a primarily administrative job that *could* be done by someone else if it really needed to be – like my friend, I’m essentially replaceable. And if I can’t provide for us with my salary, where would that leave us?

This fear is exacerbated by the fact that I recently moved to a new position in my company – a new department, really – and it is not as “essential” as some others due the fact that it is new (and possibly expendable?).

If I get laid off one day, I wonder how I’ll fare in the jobs market? I REALLY do not want to be dumped back into that….but what if I have no choice?

Augh – just stressing over something I can’t do anything about. I am gaining a lot of skills right now and trying to learn as much as I can. It’s hard to think about the bleakness of tomorrow….especially in today’s climate.

FYI – trying to blog more now that I have the time. Jeff is also talking about me joining his friend, Angela’s, writing workshop. Not sure what I can contribute these days, but I’m trying to motivate myself to do it. 

NEVER READ THE COMMENTS

I never post anything political online because I’m afraid of getting sucked into arguments. I’ve seen a lot of my friends do this since the election and the comments some of them get are horrifying. 

•  One friend wrote a post advocating to delete the Uber app from their phone; the comments section of his post (135 and counting!) devolved into an argument over which media corporations are biased and what direction each of them lean.
• Another friend wrote a post about the contradiction of the #AllLivesMatter slogan and the Muslim ban, only to be called a C-U-Next-Tuesday.
• Another (closer) friend wrote a post about being pro-choice and ended up getting trolled by her own father-in-law. 

That last one really gets to me.

I don’t get this. I really I don’t. And I’m so afraid that the friends I have online (all of which I know and met in real life) will reveal themselves to be horrible Trump-defending conservatives who will turn their attentions on me.

Who has that kind of time?

Who has that kind of energy?

It seems that only bigots and angry, ANGRY internet trolls do….and they seem to be out in force right now.   

Reaching ouuut...touching me, touching youuuu

So I've started going to therapy. 

It seems like such a privilege (ugh, hate using that word) to be able to see a therapist, but I'm glad I can afford it because I'm already starting to take some positive steps - in both my life and my relationship with Jeff (yes, we're still together! Two years, baby). 

One of those changes is this resolution that I made (with Jeff) about making sure we both stay connected to the people we care about closely. 

So I made a list of people who I've regretted losing touch with and am vowing now to make plans to connect with them every so often. 

The list is private, but if you hear from me (and Jeff), consider yourself on it and I hope that you don't already have other plans. 

P.S. Long time no blog, so I'm a little rusty. Sorry this wasn't a wittier post.....but at least it was grammatically correct! 

......right? 

RE: My Legacy

Forgive me if this entry sounds a little weird. My blogging skills are a little rusty…..!

My mom called me to tell me that my Grandmother passed away yesterday.

I’m glad she did because if I’d found from my brother’s post on his Facebook page, I probably would’ve been upset. That’s the kind of news you really deserve to get a phone call for (when it’s a family member, anyway).

And, aside from feeling the normal amounts of sad – she’d been in and out of hospitals for a while now; we all knew this was coming – I started thinking about all the deaths I’ve seen communicated through social media….

…..and all the humorous ways those deaths can be exploited.

Hey – everybody grieves differently.

It didn’t take long after my dad passed away when I was a teenager for me to start talking about it with a sense of humor, either. I didn’t feel bad about it then because I think he wouldn’t have minded. But I do feel a little guilty when it’s my Grandma. She was a nice woman who didn’t have the same dark sense of humor that I inherited from my dad, so I’m a little worried her ghost might find it ‘offensive’.

When I die, I’m going to stipulate in my will the following ways I deem acceptable for people to talk about me. They shall include, and are limited to, the following:

ACCEPTABLE:

• ·         Using my death for your dark humor (as long as I’m not the butt of the joke)
• ·         Exploiting my passing to take time off of work or school
• ·         Using my death as an excuse for your poor performance (similar to “El Nino” or “Thanks, Obama!”)
• ·         Announcing my death on my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Blog account pages.
• o   My passwords will be written into my will & bequeathed to my successors  & loved ones.

UNACCEPTABLE:

• ·         Announcing my death on anyone else’s Facebook, Twitter, etc.
• ·         Blaming me for someone else’s mistakes
• ·         Starting a kickstarter campaign or Memorial fund on my behalf (the only exception being if I don’t leave behind enough money for a proper burial or funeral).
• o   Don’t balk. It happens.

One of the reasons this is on my mind is I’ll have to fly back home to Hawaii for the funeral and my department is really under-staffed at the moment. I feel guilty taking time off now, but part of me is glad I can do it without fear of looking like “a slacker”.

So, in a way, my Grandma’s death is kind of a good thing!

Hey – like I said: we all grieve in our own ways.  

Anyway, here's to my Grandma. I'm glad I got one last 'selfie' with her in it before she passed on. 

HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION #45:

Suppose your boss came up to you at work one day & said that there is a position open with a higher salary, but more scrutiny and the position itself is not viewed favorably by upper management – and might possibly be dissolved in a few yea.

However, your boss also mentions tgat another position *might* be opening up later down the road.

That job, while probably not as prestigious, sounds more like a career path that you might be interested in pursuing. 

What would you do? 

• Apply for the confirmed position with higher pay?  
• Or stay at your current job & wait for the other position to possibly open up?  

You cannot apply for both.

This is what I had to think over the past couple of days. 

GAY MOVIE REVIEW: Stranger by the Lake

Jeff & I had a ‘date night’ this past weekend & opted for a movie. There was a really sexy-sounding one playing at the Laemmle in Pasadena, so we saw that one: 

Stranger by the Lake

PLOT: This French film takes place in the summer at a nude cruising spot for men, tucked away on the shores of a lake. Franck falls in love with Michel. But one evening, after wandering around a little too late, Franck spots Michel holding a ‘trick’ underwater, drowning him in the lake.  Despite this, Franck continues to see Michel.  Their relationship becomes strained when the trick’s body is found a few days later & the police start questioning them both about what they know.

REVIEW:  First of all, I think I should mention that there’s a lot of full-frontal male nudity in this movie; it’s set at a nude beach, after all. There’s also several (hot) sex scenes & all that, so it pretty much delivers in that area. Both Jeff & I thought it was done extremely well, but couldn’t figure out the ‘point’ of the movie until the next day. At first we assumed it was a ‘cautionary tale’ of the dangers of anonymous sex but that doesn’t hold a lot of water because Franck *does* know who Michel is and stays with him anyway. Later, Jeff told me that the way it ends (Franck, hiding from a murderous Michel, finally comes out of hiding & starts calling for him – FADE TO BLACK) tells him that “Franck is so afraid of loneliness that he would rather call out to ‘his killer’ than be alone” which coincides better with some of the other character’s storylines in the movie (there is a an older guy that Franck befriends who doesn’t swim or sleep around in the film; he just sits there watching everyone else, probably because he’s looking for a friend more than sex).

On the downside, the film also has no soundtrack, making it a bit boring. And the ending is a little abrupt, which left us wanting more of a resolution. But otherwise I found this an interesting, yet subtle, film to watch. 

Here’s the trailer!